Oh Tiger, Tiger, Tiger…..

It’s been a bad couple weeks for you. These broads are coming out of everywhere looking to ca$h in on the fact that they let you knock it out. Some of these hoes even “fell in love” with you – knowing full well that you had a wife and two kids at home. Let’s recap where we are as of tonight.

The National Enquirer runs a story about Tiger digging his divot out of Rachel Uchitel – a New York club skank.

Two days after that story broke, Tiger apparently got the munchies and left his house at 2:30am and decided to take out a fire hydrant and park his Escalade into a tree.

Rumors ran wild that Tiger was actually getting the fuck out of his house because his wife had scratched his shit all up – she supposedly confronted Tiger about where he was putting his penis. How many chicks do you know that need a 9 iron to open up a car door?

The Florida Highway Patrol released their report on what happened that night – click HERE to check it out. It contains Tiger’s home address – maybe I should send him a get well card.

He either went Ron Artest and polished off some Hennessy before he got behind the wheel, or was trying to avoid getting clubbed like a baby seal.

Dude was everywhere BUT on the road….

Two days after the crash, skank #2 makes herself known….meet Jaimee Grubbs.

USWeekly payed her 100k to talk and she is supposed to be making her way to the pages of Playboy. Tiger allegedly told her “Quietly and secretly we will always be together”.

Now that’s some funny shit. Tiger’s like Ludacris….more on that later.

Oh, and this bitch has a criminal record. She was reportedly charged with misdemeanor burglary and grand theft in July 2004 after she was accused of shoplifting from the Nordstrom’s at Horton Plaza (in San Diego), the records revealed. She was 18 years old.

Trick #3 is Kalika Moquin. She’s a Las Vegas marketing manager for The Bank Nightclub. I’d hit it.

#4 is Jamie Jungers. We’re only half-way there. She’s a Vegas cocktail waitress. Her mom has already confirmed that Tiger was balls deep in her daughter and that the relationship lasted around 2 years.

#5 is a real treat. Meet Mindy Lawton.

She and Tiger met in the summer of 2006, when Mindy was working as an $8-an-hour manager and waitress at Perkins. He managed to bang this one out for 14 months. He’d send her romantic text messages like “I’m dreaming of being inside of you” and “do you want to get laid?”

Tiger could have gotten exposed back in 2007 with this chick. She was filmed and recorded as Tiger banged it out in the parking lot of the Perkins restaurant. The article HERE talks about why that story was never leaked.

Cori Rist is hoe #6. She’s a 31 year old club skank who traveled with Tiger to different tournaments. He would book her a room next to his so that he could have easy access to her orifices.

Last but not least, #7 is rumored to be porn star Holly Sampson.

You might recognize some of Holly’s work, with titles like Milf Bone 4, Tickle Party Vol 2, and last but not least, How I Did A Milf.

SNL got their jab in over the weekend. Clip below in case you missed it.

That Ludacris reference above. I think this video pretty much sums up how Tiger was living.