CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A Kanawha County man was in jail this morning after allegedly being caught masturbating in public.

Once they got to the park, they allegedly found 61-year-old Eddie Manuel Campbell of Witcher Creek Road sitting on a park bench in plain view of passing motorists, Crosier said. Campbell allegedly had one arm around a mannequin and was touching himself with the other.

I see what Eddie was thinking. Here he is minding his own business as he walks down the street and this sexy ass mannequin is throwing herself at him. He pops a couple Viagra™ and just takes her to pound town at the local park. Look at how fine they are making mannequins these days….

Big ass and tits….fuck having a head. I think that’s where I went wrong. I should have gone down Eddie’s path. The headless mannequin doesn’t talk back….doesn’t ever say they are “too tired” to give it up….don’t nag…..and just lay in bed waiting for you to give them the dick.

I’m off to Macy’s…..