You want to live that baller lifestyle, you better make sure you’ve got the bankroll to afford it. I’m gonna guess that the person who owned this Maserati Quattroporte probably wasn’t in a very good mood that day.

Sign #1 that you have too many kids?  When you have a hard time remembering all their names.  From HBO’s Hard Knocks:

Did I hear that he had three kids that were all 3 years old? That’s one hell of a threesome…..

Listen, no one is a fan of “pulling out”, but you’ve got to explore some options before you start making a run at Shawn Kemp’s record.  Maybe mix it up a bit in the bedroom and play the back 9….take a trip down dirt road….or maybe invest in some Ochocinco condoms…..

He’s probably hoping that one of these days he can break out the Maury Povich Paternity Dance™:

LeBron James Is A Bitch Song (Barstool Sports)

Ochocinco Shows Off His Dick Towel (JerseyChaser)

Bo The Bailer Offers To Bang Out A Fake Facebook Broad (Busted Coverage)

White Girls Remix Dr. Dre’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit” (Turd Ferguson)

Victoria Silvestedt Hard At Work….In A Bikini (Guyism)

Stats:

Age: 23
Height: 5′ 4″
Weight: 110 lbs
Bust: 34″
Waist: 24″
Hips: 33″
Cup: D

You know a chick who is worthy of being a Random Hottie™. You think you’ve got what it takes? Send suggestions to ceo@h8torade.com

The “real” job is taking me to Denver today and I’m already kicking myself in the ass for booking a 6:45am flight. Going through security should be a breeze, unless the TSA Gangstaz are in rare form and want to strip search everyone. Language is definitely NSFW….oldie but a goodie.

One thing I won’t be doing in Denver is pissing off the local P.D. They’ve been in the news lately for dropping some stiff right hands on citizens…..

and apparently it is illegal in Denver to talk on the phone as someone is getting cuffed….

Boom! fucking headshot and down you go. I may just stay in my room, order some porn, and call it a night.