ABC News – A Southwest Airlines pilot was suspended without pay after his cockpit microphone became stuck open and an obscenity-laced rant about the physical attributes of flight attendants was broadcast across the entire Texas airspace. Houston TV station KPRC obtained a recording of the audio in which the pilot bashed gays, women, “grannies” and overweight people. The conversation took place at about 7:30 a.m. CT on March 25 and was broadcast over the Houston air traffic control radio frequency, blocking communication between air traffic controllers and other pilots for more than two minutes. On a flight from Austin to San Diego, the pilot first complained about flight attendants he worked with in Chicago. “There’s 12 flight attendants, individual, never the same flight attendant twice. Eleven (expletive) over the top (expletive), (expletive) homosexuals and a granny,” the pilot said. “Eleven. I mean, think of the odds of that. I thought I was in Chicago, which was party-land.” “After that, it was just a continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes…” The co-pilot’s response was inaudible, but the pilot reacted saying, “”Well I don’t give a (expletive). I hate 100 percent of their (expletive).” He then turned to bashing Houston flight attendants. “Now I’m back in Houston, which is easily one of the ugliest bases. I mean it’s all these (expletive) old dudes and grannies and there’s like maybe a handful of cute chicks,” he said. The air traffic controller in Houston unsuccessfully attempted to interrupt the trash-talking and tried to cover the pilot’s words with beeps. “OK, whoever is, uh, transmitting, better watch what you’re saying,” the controller said. Air traffic controllers submitted the tape to FAA officials the same day. The FAA then turned the recording over to Southwest Airlines after deducing that the pilot was from a Southwest flight. “The incident occurred during a phase of flight in which personal conversations are permitted in the cockpit. Nevertheless, the FAA expects a higher level of professionalism from flight crews, regardless of the circumstances,” the FAA said in a statement. Southwest would not release the name of the pilot, “since it is a personnel issue.” He has since returned to work.

Updated:

We’ve got audio!

I fly Southwest about 3-4 times a month and I can say that the “talent” on-board has gone down quite a bit. Don’t get me wrong. Their service is awesome and the flight attendants who are gay do a pretty decent job of not being over-the-top with it. Unlike another airline I flew where the flight attendant was so gay that he literally deep throated the red inflatable tube on his life vest during the demonstration.

More of this is always a good business model……

Finally made it into Colombia tonight. 5 hour flight from the ATL and a quick run through immigration once I landed and I was on my way to the hotel. The amount of tail in this place is unbelievable. There was a chick with a waist to ass ratio that was off the charts….pants looked like they were painted on and a turd cutter that was perfect. I almost broke out my phone and snapped a pic but I thought it would be a little awkward snapping a pic with 200 people staring at me – plus the Policia™ don’t want you using your phone while your waiting in line at the immigration station.

I’ve got to work a little bit tomorrow morning but am gonna hit the city around noon and go check some shit out. Will try and snap some pics of the local talent and upload later tomorrow.

The Davalos Twins….one of Colombia’s finest exports

Packing my bags right now and am flying out tomorrow morning to Bogota. Gonna spend 4 days there and will try and blog when I can, but I’ll be pretty busy chasing tail with work.

I’ve got two goals from this trip. Don’t lose my kidney to the black market and avoid getting my ass shoved full of heroin balloons.

I also plan on making Sandra Valencia my wife while I’m down there. Wish me luck.

Nothing puts a smile on my face like having to wake up at 4am to catch a 6:50am flight out to Portland. The account executive who scheduled a 1pm meeting today is gonna get a foot in his ass. I’m taking suggestions for strip clubs and places to eat in Portland. Don’t send me to some shit hole.

Balls. Of. Steel.