Tiger Woods announced today that he is ready to start swinging the sticks and will make his comeback at The Masters in Augusta, GA.

The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect,” Woods said in a statement, now on his Web site. “After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I’m ready to start my season at Augusta.

Word on the street is that Tiger has moved back into his mansion in Florida with his wife. I think she took one look at that pre-nup – had it rewritten – and plans on cashing out if Tiger decides that he wants to go play the 19th hole with some other hoes.

I’m sure that South Park is going to take it easy on him during their season premiere tomorrow….or not.

The premier is titled “Sexual Healing”. From the press release:

The nation’s top scientists come together to put a stop to the recent phenomenon of rich, successful men who suddenly want to have sex with many, many women. After extensive testing, some of the fourth grade boys in South Park Elementary are diagnosed as sex addicts.

The DVR has officially been set to record.

Tony Hawk would not not be proud of this wipeout.

Meet Constance Leighann McMillen. She’s an 18 year old senior at Itawamba County Agricultural High School and wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom, but the school wasn’t having any of that. Maybe they were afraid that Constance would end up doing the scissor lock with her girl or maybe start swapping spit out on the dance floor.

Either way, the school canceled the prom and now the ACLU is getting ready to sue that ass for discrimination.

I’d hit it. She is after all 18.

D’Angelo was arrested in New York on Saturday after allegedly attempting to pay for sex with an undercover police officer who was posing as a prostitute.

What’s his PR mouthpiece have to say about all this?

We know there is a lot of speculation in regard to the arrest of D’Angelo in New York City this past weekend. We would like his fans and the public at large to know that D’Angelo has pled not guilty — and is contesting the allegations made against him. Also know that, he is in good health and extremely excited about his forthcoming new album. D’Angelo would like to personally thank all of his fans for the outpouring of concern, and appreciates if all would allow the American justice system to resolve the matter before jumping to any conclusions.

He offered up $40 bucks to an undercover cop posing as a hooker. The best part is that he had $12,000 in cash on him and the best he could do was offer a 40 spot?

How does it feel?